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On the road – growing apart

On the road – growing apart

Forever. Yes, it is quite a powerful word, but you are aware of it. You know that these people will be there forever. “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” You don’t really know. But that’s for sure; you will be alongside these people; your best friends, your soulmates. These people you share every little detail of your life with. People you trust. People who will always be there for you, forever. At least this is what you think.

All of a sudden these friends, who would be there forever, feel like strangers to you. Being with them feels different and unfamiliar. But yes, we all know friends come and go. Some dissolve quietly with the small changes in your life; starting a new hobby or changing a part of your daily routine. Others die harshly by changing principal elements of your life; an advanced job position, a different home base, a new lover…?

I know this topic sounds a bit off. We all know that as we are growing, we will be growing apart from people in our lives. But to be honest, this issue is rather intricate and complex, especially when it is about directly approaching the people involved. Already imagining myself in such a situation makes me feel awkward. But how can we create more comfort in this vain affair?

#1 Touch upon yourself
It is always helpful to start with yourself. Before you directly discuss the matter with the other person involved, try to reflect on yourself. What is your position in the relationship? How did your life change this position? How did you change? Being aware of these insights and sharing them honestly will definitely ease the atmosphere.

#2 Delusion is not a solution 
Sending all these red hearts, ‘ily’ or ‘let’s catch up soon’, will not make the situation less sensitive. Be honest with yourself and with the other person. Realize the change in the relationship and try to address it openly.

#3 There are always two sides to a story
Remember that the other person probably deals with similar feelings and insecurities. Ask them about their feelings, their perception of the situation. Try to find common ground. In that manner, you can figure out a resolution together.

#4 Do not pressure yourself
A resolution does not need to be definite in any way. Go with the flow.

It sucks… but friends come and go, even though you thought they will be there forever.

Author: Antonia Benecke
Editor: Kat Nivera


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