The third-place community is a term that was coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg. Third-place communities are places between public and private domains where ‘people spend time between home (‘first’ place) and work or school (‘second’ place)¹. Examples of third places are parks, playgrounds, public libraries, and pubs.
This while these are vital places for us. In third places, conversations are central. They allow unplanned encounters with people outside of your bubble. In them, we transcend our differences. Thereby, these places can serve as a social lubricant for society.
However, these places are becoming increasingly rare ² with tangible third-place communities being used less and less. For example, the total number of pubs in the Netherlands has decreased by 33 percent since 2007. The rise of social media, which was only exacerbated by the Covid 19 pandemic, increased the idea that our only option for connection was through the internet. As a result, people started to abandon these third-spaces.
The tiny computers in our pockets numb us and instantly gratify us. They also make it infinitely easier to be irritable, socially anxious, and overall, emotionally unstable.
This unhealthy combination makes it all the more difficult to connect with others who may at times have very different opinions from our own; because if our algorithms only show content that is similar to what we’ve previously engaged with, it will never challenge our beliefs. We easily buy into the lie that people who have differing views from us are ‘wrong’.
Understanding the third-space
Allow me to present you with some characteristics of third-place communities and draw parallels with social media platforms to see what the similarities and difference between the two are:
- Conversation centred with an emphasis on a playful mood.
- Strangers are welcome and can stay as long as they wish.
- There are people who visit regularly and feel a part of the space.
- Individuals enjoy feelings of belonging and warmth, as they would in their own homes.
- There is a habit of public association.
No doubt you can see the similarities between these and multiple ‘social’ media platforms.
One of Oldenburg’s arguments was that what we need to be able to gather ‘inexpensively [and] regularly (…). A life without [tangible] community has produced (…) a lifestyle of endless shuttle, social well-being and psychological health depend upon community.’ ¹
Closing thoughts
I encourage you, find a park to go to, even if it’s by yourself, journal, write bad poetry, play an instrument, anywhere but in your own home or school setting.
It may feel uncomfortable, but that’s part of the experience. We live in a world that is so obsessed with doing everything we can to not rock the boat. We avoid, at all costs, the possibility of being thrown out, even though the water is only 20cm deep anyway.
This brings us back to third-place communities. Bring back randomly complimenting a stranger without thinking of it as a possibility for a romantic relationship. Bring back going out of your way for someone just because you can.
There is a line of course. And finding this line can be difficult, but it is one that can be found with practice. There’s a line between turning yourself into a human carpet rather than being a sofa where people can sometimes rest, knowing you have them in the good times and the bad. ‘In the pub [third-community spaces] we manage to do something that is becoming increasingly difficult to do outside: living together.’ ³
Start building the community you crave. This may seem a bit of a tone-deaf statement as it is evidently a problem of the society in which we live, but we should realise that we still have the agency to make decisions in our current ecosystem. So I encourage you once again: start talking to someone you will never see again just because you can.
- Project for Public Spaces. (2008, December 31). Ray Oldenburg. Project for Public Spaces. https://www.pps.org/article/roldenburg. Edited by Karen Christensen.
- Butler, S. M., & Diaz, C. (2016, September 14). “Third Places” as Community Builders. Brookings; The Brookings Institution. https://www.brookings.edu/articles/third- places- as-community-builders/
- Mulder, V. (2025, September 5). In de kroeg vind je wat je in de rest van de samenleving mist. De Correspondent. https://decorrespondent.nl/16338/in-de-kroeg-vind-je-wat-je-in- de-rest-van-de-samenleving-mist/4f7532cd-0110-0a1e-26a4-0d6c30f17a84