Noise as the modern default
Constant noise has become normalised in our fast-paced society. We doomscroll for hours each day, living in an attention economy where algorithms know what we’ll like before we do, creating this constant buzz we barely question anymore.
We live in a world that never slows down, yet we wonder why time seems to pass quicker every year. We’ve grown so accustomed to this pace that slowing down feels unfamiliar. As a result, we live like this through our best years without even noticing it.
The world around us is loud and not just literally, but also mentally, emotionally, digitally. And because noise has become the modern default, silence has become more valuable than ever before. It feels rare and therefore precious. It’s time for us to start appreciating silence more.
Silence as connection
Quiet moments in nature always remind me of how much I appreciate calmness and how important it is for my sanity. Growing up in a city means nature isn’t something I get to experience every day.
Maybe that’s why I can appreciate it even more when I finally find myself walking in the woods or bythe lake, watching trees move slowly and hearing the sound of the wind instead of noisy traffic.
Silence isn’t a lack of connection; it creates connection. Being in the nature reminds me of this. Here, silence feels like a conversation I didn’t know I needed. It fills something inside of me that’s normally missing. It creates space in our heads to think about the things we want in our lives. It really gives me the chance to take a moment and reflect on what I find important in life.
How to be quiet with ourselves
Zen and Buddhist teachings often say the mind is like a lake: only when it is still can you see clearly. Meditation taught me this. This year, I started meditating weekly in a zendo [1]– we call this practice zazen[2] awareness, and attentive presence.
. During the practice, you sit in silence for a longer period of time, usually around 40 minutes, with a 5-minute walking meditation in between.
During meditation you’ll start to notice that new thoughts pop up (sometimes the most unexpected ones) and old feelings you didn’t know were still living inside you suddenly rise to the surface as well.
But the beauty in zazen is that by letting these thoughts pass without judging them, you get closer to yourself. You live through your thoughts instead of running from them. This can be very beneficial for your mental health because it teaches you how to be fully present.
It also teaches you patience. Meditation reminds you that life is happening right now. Not in the past, not in the future – but in the here and now.
Life happens every day, but because of all the noise we barely seem to notice what’s most important to us. By sitting still for a long time, you finally get the chance to observe it.
A slow life
Lately, I’ve come to appreciate a slower lifestyle over a fast one. There is so much beauty hidden in simplicity. I wish more people would start to appreciate focussing on just being in the moment without feeling the constant need to change anything. Leaving your phone at home when you’re going for a walk. Not always listening to music or trying to fill silence with noise. Becoming more aware of your surroundings by looking up at the people and nature around you. Once you start to look at the world around you, you will start to notice that there is so much real beauty in our everyday lives.
Something that our smartphone screens will never be able to replace.
When I finally realised that the real essence of life is found in the small moments, I started doing things the old-fashioned way: writing handwritten letters, reading old books, keeping a handwritten journal, meeting people organically, and taking pictures with a film camera instead of my smartphone. Technology can be helpful and needed most of the time, but we shouldn’t let it take over our lives to the point where it takes away the things that make us feel alive and connected. The things that make us feel human.
The fear of being alone with our thoughts
I know that many people fear quietness. They get bored easily and jump from one distraction to the other. But living like that is exhausting and unhealthy. It also takes away the whole point of being alive: the point of life is to experience it while being in it. And not every moment of our live has to be extraordinary. Sometimes the smallest moments hold the most beauty. But only if we let ourselves see them.
I recently came across a quote by Dogen Zenji, a Japanese Zen teacher who wrote: “Enlightenment is intimacy with all things.”
The longer I think about this quote, the more it resonates with me. To me this quote explains that you can only be intimate with life when you’re truly present in the moment. Once you learn how to be fully present, you will gain clarity, compassion and most importantly a feeling of gratitude.
Because once you see the beauty in everyday life, you can’t unsee it. But to get there, you have to let go of distractions which is scary. Distractions protect us from the truths we aren’t ready to face. But they also stand between us and our dream lives. Removing them opens a door we didn’t even know existed.
Choosing intentional quiet moments
It can be hard to find silence in busy schedules, but its importance is so underestimated. As we make time to go to the gym to take care of our bodies, we should do the same for our minds.
Meditation is, of course, a very beneficial practice for the mind. Sitting for twenty minutes in the morning and at night before bed can change your entire mindset. And if meditation isn’t your thing there are also other ways to become more mindful: journaling, writing, walking through nature, yin yoga (a slow-paced, meditative style of yoga), therapy sessions or cooking/baking without distractions. All of this may sound a bit fluffy, but they will make your mind feel a little calmer and more grounded.
Silence is power
In a world obsessed with attention, silence can also be used as a tool of power. As everyone is trying to stand out with noise by sharing louder opinions or publishing crazier content on social media, calmness ultimately stands above all of that.
Sometimes silence is the strongest response you can give in a world full of craziness (like when your colleague is testing your patience on a Tuesday morning before you’ve even had your coffee). It is important for you to realise that not everything deserves your attention, so consciously choosing silence can reflect strength, clarity, and self-worth.
Being intentional about who and what you give your energy to will make you choose quiet more often.
The intimacy of simply being together
I recently read the novel Madonna in a Fur Coat [3] by the famous Turkish writer Sabahattin Ali, and it made me reconsider what it means to share silence with someone you love. In the book, there’s a scene where the two characters sit together in silence, described in a very intimate way. Yet, It’s not awkward at all. Rather, it is a connection between two people who are in love and wish to spend time together.
It shows that just being in someone’s presence can feel more intense than any conversation. Words are of course very meaningful, but they can also feel empty at times. Sometimes the feelings shared in silence by only two people are more powerful than spoken words themselves. Silence focuses on the emotions instead of the explanations. It makes presence louder than speech. Perhaps human feelings and emotions in themselves are more powerful than the words we use to describe them.
The intimacy of simplicity
Even online, people are now craving quietness. Many, for example, embrace the trend of “visual decluttering” [4], apply the Feng Shui principles [5] at home, or adopt minimalism in their daily lives. All of this reflects the desire to return to simplicity. People are waking up to the damage that consumerism has caused both globally and on a personal level. They are starting to realise the importance of staying connected to themselves without external noise that influence their perceptions. People are standing up and seeking to reclaim their independence from big brands, from overwhelming marketing, from the constant pressure to rebrand oneself and from identities shaped by companies that benefit from our dissatisfactions.
[1] Zendo, a Zen Buddhist meditation hall used primarily for seated meditation practice.
[2] Zazen, the principal seated meditation discipline in Zen Buddhism, emphasises posture, breath
[3] This is the book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27793819-madonna-in-a-fur-coat
[4] Visual decluttering, the intentional reduction of visual stimuli within a space to promote calmness, focus, and aesthetic clarity.
[1] Feng shui, the traditional Chinese practice of arranging physical spaces to promote balance and the harmonious flow of qi (energy)